Do You DIY? Sustainability in the City

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I recently visited West Virginia for work.  My colleagues and I were connecting with one of our partners, New Vision Renewable Energy.  The visit blew my mind on so many different levels.  First and foremost, this organization is quite literally bringing a new vision for energy to our local communities and international brothers/sisters.  Solar panels, aquaponics, and innovative recycling were just the beginning.  They showed us Life in a Box containing lifesaving water filtration pouches as well as recycled iPods containing education and literacy tools.

What I really sopped up like a swiffer is the fact that this kick ass work is headquartered out of the humble city of Philippi, West Virginia. Community members, neighbors, local colleges, churches, school aged, college aged, middle aged retired, and newly professional are all leaning in to bring economic resources and environmental sustainability to those in need.  New Vision bridges science, education, and faith in ways that big cities can learn from.

Don’t get it twisted; I wasn’t sure what to expect when I was en route to Philippi.  As a city girl, and more specifically a sister city girl, I had my trepidation about what kind of reception would be waiting for us.  My first wtf flag flew up when our tour began in a cemetery.  Yep, you read it right.  We drove through and stopped at the cemetery where each of the four main families from this city were buried.  You know that was felt as wrong as wearing a wool sweater without a bra.  I thought to myself, if this is the kick off, I should call my babies now and tell the oldest where my life insurance papers are in case mama don’t make it back from West Virginia. Well, as always, God gave me a big face palm and reminded me that His heart is present in all shapes and iterations, and that past disappointments never change His will; that only an open heart and mind can receive new blessings.  All that said, this is truly the only experience I’ve had where being the only Black folk in a sea of rural, White Christians was not only ok, it was a gift.  Damn, I can’t even believe my jaded ass just wrote that.  Woo, life is a trip.

So, in observing the incredible work of New Vision, it was mentioned that people, once almost void of financial resources and self-sufficiency, are empowered when they learn that the energy they are struggling to pay for; that the heat, food, and clean water they depend on outside companies to provide, is actually a product they can make themselves.  Rather than be held hostage to forces outside their control, these communities are creating and maintaining sustainable, renewable energy for their own families.  New Vision provides the raw materials and the training and presto! A once elusive commodity suddenly becomes DIY.

Well this got me to thinking: what am I unnecessarily outsourcing in my day to day life? In terms of my family’s day to day consumption, I was definitely swayed to think about ways to capture and re-use rainwater (we are in Tacoma, after all), and incorporate LED lights, high efficiency appliances, etc.  And yes, this should have occurred to me some time ago, but the green movement is definitely something marketed to and accessed by White folks.  This is ironic to me considering Black folk used to be the sole hands, feet, muscle, and brain driving the economic growth of this country (and others).  Despite our ability to hustle, bounce, back and innovate, we are not traditionally invited to the table to learn and cultivate the lessons of environmental sustainability.  For whatever reason, the idea of teaching these lessons to Black Africans is much sexier than going to say, Camden New Jersey and letting those brothers and sisters bear the fruit of these resources.

Center for Sustainable Urban Systems Quarterly Research Briefing

What are we paying others to do that we can be doing ourselves? Who do we trust to feed us, fuel us, and teach us? Are we taking the time to be informed about what we are consuming and passing on to our youth?

I don’t know, y’all. I don’t pretend to have any answers. But I do have the desire and will to do better, do my best for our people. Staying in constant pursuit of truth and empowerment will reveal a path that leads to our special brand of milk and honey; nectar that we brew, pour, and place on the lips of all our kin…with nothin but love lacing the ladle.

Mad Enough to Chew Bricks: A Brief Tyler Perry Rant

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No, sir. You will not catch me slipping again. I foolishly decided to give Tyler Perry another chance by watching his newest creation, The Have’s and the Have Not’s. Fresh off of a cable package upgrade, I have been tuning in to shit that I had no idea existed. Well, I clearly need an open handed smack across my luscious lips for giving this bullshit my time. Perhaps, I love to hate Tyler’s fuckery and couldn’t help but tune in. Even more probable though is my unmet need to see our peeps represented with some depth and authenticity.
Spongebob has more character development, ok? As always, Tyler produces another predictable ensemble of black stereotypes, to include the black maid aka Mammie, a bitchy black woman aka Sapphire, and our personal favorite, the conniving black slut aka Jezebel. And what Tyler Perry production would be complete without the down low black male? Done and done.
Booooooooooooo!!!!!!
Tyler, work out your issues with women with a therapist rather than holding us hostage to another journey down Self-Hatred Lane. You have become the most infuriating one trick pony ever because you have the exposure and the connections (thanks alot, Oprah) to spoon feed this shit flavored sorbet to the world. Get with Shonda Rhimes to discover the beautiful chaotic and artistic journey of life taken by black folks everyday (Gladiators, bitch!).
I can vouche for the fact that black women do more than scheme, clean, and fuck our way through life. And I am certain that for every black man on the down low, there’s ten thrilled at the prospect of loving a black woman in all her complicated, intelligent, sensual glory.
A couple slices of black woman truth for you, Tyler:
WE HEAL WAY MORE THAN WE HURT, YOU FUCK NUT.
WE INITIATE AND NAVIGATE OUR SEXUALITY ON OUR OWN TERMS. OH AND WE’RE FUCKING FLY.
WE ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITHOUT SHIT TALKING, FINGER SNAPPING, NECK ROLLING OR BOOTY POPPING.
BLACK MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, PAST AND PRESENT, UNBORN AND ANCIENT, ARE YOUR BLOOD, MOTHERFUCKER. DO BETTER.
And stop dressing up as a woman. It’s played. Geraldine would be appalled. Master the art of MALE characters, and leave the black female experience to those who are actually living it.
Deep breath.
Betty’s out ya’ll. Grey Goose here I come.

From the Top of Their Heads to the Soles of Their Feet: Pope Francis Gets Low

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So, I have never professed to be an expert, much less informed on religion. This is even more so the case with Catholicism. I know very little about the rituals, specific traditions, and nuances of the Catholic Church. What I know about is stereotypes. And as we know, not only are stereotypes generally negative, in so very many cases they are hurtful. They perpetuate division and miscommunication among people. With that said, I am a person of faith. I believe wholeheartedly in God, in Christ, and in my specific responsibility and call to join my heart with as many others as I can. And I also believe (sometimes foolishly) that if you are a person of ANY faith, at the very root of your doctrine is elevating a greater purpose, a higher calling, and a shared commitment to love. Loving in action, not words or donations. Demonstrating faith through relationship, willing connection to those most in need, most fractured, most hurt. Awkward silence, and complete and utter cluelessness be damned, faith communities are called to reconcile with each other and model grace and understanding.

Of course, the execution of this gets all jacked up. In every religion, denomination, congregation, Mother’s board and even the music ministry we get distracted by our humanity. The culprits? The illusion of power, the unwillingness to pray/reflect, the need to control, and good old-fashioned fear. We choke, and in response, we build bubbles that become space, that become distance, that become detachment, that becomes a canyon between you and the “other.” You know, the one you think you have nothing in common with; the one who made their bed and now must lie in it. The one who should’ve have no better. Ironically, we forget we could say those things about ourselves on any given day.

All this to say that I was so disturbed to see the so-called outrage and discomfort traditionalists had with the new leader of the Vatican, Pope Francis conducting a Holy Week ritual of washing feet in a juvenile detention center. Last Thursday, Pope Francis washed the feet of 12 juvenile detainees, to include a Muslim and female detainees. He washed, dried, and kissed their feet to honor and re-enact the act of Jesus washing the feet of his 12 disciples just a day before he was beaten and ultimately crucified.

While some were encouraged by this act, many were angry and disturbed that the Pope would include women in this ritual, let alone someone of a faith as controversial as Muslim. Folks went so far as to speculate that because he washed the feet of female, he would eventually promote the ordination of female priests.

All I could say was pump your brakes, you nit wits. First of all, from a strictly surface level, you should be grateful Pope Francis is hitting the pavement and raising visibility for the positive and engaging work of the Catholic Church. I alluded to stereotypes earlier and we all know that priests, and the Catholic Church in general have a mighty tough road to tow around combating negative press, the assumption of ultra conservative, sexist, and even criminal activity in the church.

As a single black mom, the last place I’m looking for a supportive ear is the Catholic Church. But when I spotted Pope Francis scrubbing that young person’s tootsies, I thought, wow is that a glimmer of humility I see? It literally warmed my heart, and blessed my spirit to see.

The divisions, judgments, and condemnations perpetuated by the church (not just Catholicism) have personally hurt and shook me at very pivotal points in my life. And at the center of it all was the punitive, self-righteous, fear based gospel. Their words and actions would say:

-You are not loved by God as you are.
-You must be perfect to please God.
-You are your sins, good luck moving past them

Well damn. If, after getting up early on a Sunday, putting on eyeliner and clothes that I actually have to iron, and dropping something in the offering plate, that’s the message I receive, why would I ever want to engage with “the Church,” or let a church leader in to my heart?

I saw Pope Francis throw some of that old guard piety out the stained glass window, and literally get down on his knees to serve the “least of us.” He told them he was no better than them, that he is there for him as is God, and made himself their servant. Servant to the throw aways, the sinners, the unforgiven. Kinda sounds familiar, huh (ever heard of Jesus)?

Could it be that the naysayers’ anxiety and contempt for this act made them face a terrifying question: If the highest of our leaders made himself small to serve criminals what am I going to be on the hook for? Am I going to have to cross the bridge I’ve been building so long to look in the eyes of those I pretend not to see?

Maybe. Just maybe.

As I said, I am not hip to the complexities, contexts, and background that may also be feeding into this negative reaction. So by all means, shoot Betty a line, and educate me.

What I am hip to though, is my spirit. The God in me was greeted and blessed by this act of service to those in need of the most grace, the most love, and the most forgiveness. I appreciated the nudge to walk the walk of offering love to everyone we encounter.

Now you might say, “Whatever, Betty. I ain’t washing no damn feet, and you know you ain’t either.”

Just consider this: its not the magnitude or details of a loving act that matters. It’s just the act itself. The gesture. The offer; without expectation of reciprocity or reward.

Now that’s the kingdom, baby. That’s how I want to live out my faith while I’m here.

Go ‘head, Pope Francis.

BB

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Letter to My Daughter

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Hey Little Girl,
As I watch the world continue to make you promises it has no intention of delivering, I feel it’s my job to help. Not just to cushion the blow of what’s to come (because unfortunately, some hard lessons are inevitable), but to help you take in, process, and digest the world around you. I want you feasting on life. And mind you, some of that shit tastes gross, makes you sick, and gets stuck in your teeth. But don’t you pass up the chance to take a chance. Be uncomfortable. Act a damn fool. Walk where others were scared to, or where they couldn’t. Then come back and share your blessings with others who come behind you.

Here are a couple of things I know in no uncertain terms.
1. I love you. Unconditionally. Seriously, no mistake, decision, pregnancy, conviction, or stupid ass comment will change that. You may not feel you need to hear it now, but when it gets real heavy, just know that you are loved. You have den of “other mothers” that love you just like I do. And above all, God loves you already. Just as you are.

2. Nothing you wear, say, or do makes you a deserving victim of racism, sexism, rape, or oppression. Nothing. Don’t judge victims of these crimes. Rather, be their voice when you can, and call those in power to task. If your sisters and brothers are in struggle, so are you. Period. Read Audre Lorde, June Jordan, Angela Davis, Paolo Friere, bell hooks, Adrienne Rich, Cornel West, Marcus Garvey, . Take in what you are told, but ask questions. Read books. Ones with actual PAPER pages. Google does not equal an informed citizen.

Yep, that ends my list of certainties. Everything else, I’m winging it, kid. It’s a little known secret: MOMS DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. We lead with fear and love. I’ve been scared you’d fall, scared your fever wouldn’t break, scared your Dad would hurt you, scared you’d forget to look before you crossed the street, scared you’d take the wrong bus. There’s literally no end to it. However, the only real fear I have with you is that you’ll let fear lead you. Let it rip, little mama. Anxiety and worry have robbed our people of far too many opportunities. “What if’s” always become “I wish I had’s,” and you deserve better than that. So speak your mind, own your journey, and please don’t forget about your mother when I’m on a fixed income and need you to drive me to the store. I’d also like my liquor cabinet stocked, courtesy of you and BevMo.

I love you madly, and grow every day from knowing you.

Love,
Mommy

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WTF Wednesday

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Hi Lovies,
So I’m starting a weekly check in with ya’ll as I work to process the shit storm that is our day-to day lives. From crazy making and blood boiling to hilarious and absurd, Brown Betty is bringing you some delicious foolishness to chew on for a spell. Ready. Set. Boo yow:

Tablets for Women – Apparently, iPads are way too complicated for women. The complexity of technology just alludes us, and agitates our delicate sensibilities. Never fear, the ePad Femme is here! To accommodate our limited intellectual capacity and our one dimensional interests, this lovely she-gadget comes preloaded with apps geared towards female interests such as cooking, fashion, and yoga. Such a crock of shit. Why don’t they just wrap it in tulle and include a complimentary apron and signed copy of The Rules too? Not sure how these companies keep outdoing themselves with the insulting sexism, but somehow they manage.

Harlem Shake - I’m not trying to let my angry black woman flag fly, but wtf is all the rage about this nonsense? Seriously, explain it to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like to wile out as much as the next hard working sista, but these videos just look like tragic outtakes from a remake of Porky’s. Someone begins frantically humping the air, then the crowd responds by seizing, flailing, and tweaking, many times half naked or in superhero costumes. Now, back in the day the original Harlem Shake was a fresh lil move born out of hip hoppers to make the upbeat joints crack. The move was originally invented by the late Al B., along with his crew the CrazyBoyz in the 80′s. As always, the innovation of young black folks astounds. The community catches on, and you start seeing it in in videos, like here. Check it at 2:10 to see little mama go hard with her Harlem Shake. Mind you, this video dropped in 2001! Another discouraging example of how Black creativity/art is undermined in the name of humor; and tasteless humor at that. Hip hop culture is art. Period. Don’t dis it by making a mockery of it. If you choose to pay homage to the authentic move, give this a few plays, practice, and impress your friends and family with your new found swag. Anything less, is just a damn shame. Kick ass article here by Sara Kugler on this very issue.

The Evil Eye – I’m not referring to the new trend in jewelry, I’m talking about this little dude here. I literally laugh every damn time I see it. How do little little people pick up on our expressions so well? It’s a reminder to watch myself around the youngins. An unsuccessful reminder, but a reminder nonetheless.

Vinum – Food: yum. Drinks: a generous pour like Betty likes. Black owned? Oh hell yes! Support this place, ya’ll. Have your after work drinks, lunches, and quick check in’s here. Ideal location in downtown Tacoma, open mics, intimate soul sessions, chill vibe; what more could you ask for? We can’t complain we don’t have enough minority owned business if we don’t support the ones we have.

Not-so-Happy Birthday – I hate Chuck E. Cheese as much as the next parent. Shitty food, even shittier libations, and a bunch of kids you can’t stand or control. Cooties abound, and before you know it you ain’t got a nickel left to your name. But these dumb asses took it to a whole nuva level. Two dads start arguing and it escalates into an 18 person brawl to include gunfire and a trampled grandma. Oh, did I mention they were BLACK? Yep, we need more bad press. The cold kicker? Empty vodka bottles in the diaper bag. I’m out done. Out. Fucking. Done!

Rubber Pope – Artist, Niki Johnson uses condoms to make a statement on the Church’s position on birth control, and as a response to the comment that the use of condoms in Africa would spread the AIDS epidemic (back in 2009) . Go ‘head, girl. Outrage is such an exceptional muse. Peace.

BB

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Sankofa Song: Women’s History Lives or Dies with You

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In honor of Women’s History Month, I want to say that history ain’t for the past. History is about moving forward. Learning from, leveraging, and building upon the immense sacrifices of our foremothers. I say this not to discount the time honored tradition of looking back to pay homage. Be it video montage, musical medley or PowerPoint, there is no shortage of walks down memory lane. And that’s cool, BUT…

We best honor trailblazers by refining and expanding the roads they paved. That means, simply put, we must keep it movin’, pushin’, and crack-a-lackin’. We must honor the memories in deed. What liberties are we taking to increase the bandwidth of women in our community? How can we walk the inroads laid by our sisters to:

-respect each other for our individual paths (we are ALL putting in work whether we do it at home or in an office setting) and unify for our collective futures

-not simply enroll in but COMPLETE our postsecondary programs of choice, be that apprenticeships, licensures, ordinations, undergraduate, graduate, or professional schools to increase the critical mass of female leaders/decisionmakers. Our presence in the community should align with our representation in board rooms, judges’ chambers, altars, classrooms, posts of command, and executive sessions

-reserve judgement and give voice, language, and demand for our sisters, daughters, and homegirls in bondage here and abroad

-support each other in establishing, patronizing, and sustaining businesses that affirm our needs and treat us with dignity

-love our bodies as they are, and honor them by choosing the healthiest lifestyles, settling for nothing less than affordable, innovative and culturally relevant health care providers

-elevate what we have, not lament what we don’t

-turn off the tv and read (start with this list; it’s amazing and will literally bring you life)

-re-educate ourselves and expose our young girls to the accomplishments of women and convince them of their capacity to excel in anything; feed the pipeline that will care for you in your old age

The late, great Adrienne Rich tells us:

Responsibility to yourself means that you don’t fall for shallow and easy solutions–predigested books and ideas…marrying early as an escape from real decisions, getting pregnant as an evasion of already existing problems. It means that you refuse to sell your talents and aspirations short…and this, in turn, means resisting the forces in society which say that women should be nice, play safe, have low professional expectations, drown in love and forget about work, live through others, and stay in the places assigned to us. It means that we insist on a life of meaningful work, insist that work be as meaningful as love and friendship in our lives. It means, therefore, the courage to be “different”…The difference between a life lived actively, and a life of passive drifting and dispersal of energies, is an immense difference. Once we begin to feel committed to our lives, responsible to ourselves, we can never again be satisfied with the old, passive way.

Our brain trust is legendary; history tells us so. But those ideas will never become blessings if they just stay in our heads. That passion can’t materialize into a damn thang until we unleash it. Transformation doesn’t happen without movement. I’ve been saying all this in “we’s” and our’s” because I want to be accountable in this as well.

I’m pushing to keep sharing the best and worst of myself with you. I am clawing past my fears to share my work, speak into the silence, and be informed about and engaged in what’s going on in my city. I want better, fresher food in my hood. I want the magnificent young ladies I met on Tuesday to feel safe at home and school. I want laws and policy “protecting” my rights to mirror the realities I face each day.

I’m looking for solidarity cuz it’s cold, rainy, and lonely out here on the ledge. What’s your cause or passion? On whose shoulders are you standing, and how will you be a stepping stone for someone else?

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Go Betty, It’s Your Birthday!

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I looked up to find that this time last year I had just launched Brown Betty. I’ve managed to sustain this for over a year. This is no small feat considering the only thing I’ve managed to keep alive that long is my children and my pug. As I reflect on this first anniversary, I am humbled by the support and encouragement from my peeps, male and female, young and seasoned, who have not only inspired my posts, but supported my process, shared my work, and got in my ass when I fell off.
I am blessed to know you, and so grateful to watch you in this world. I want to share my favorite posts from this year. I picked these greatest hits based on how quickly I teared up reading them. While it’s not a scientific method, it’s definitely a valid measure of movement; in my soul and spirit.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

1. The Launch My very first post. After much deliberation and trepidation, I published this first post while on a work trip in DC. It felt good as a new form of release. I didn’t care if anybody read it. I cared that I followed through on something without knowing where it would lead. It was the first faith I had placed in myself since I did the dead man’s drop off the monkey bars in elementary school.

2. We Wear the Mask As a member of any oppressed group, you master the art of code switching. You learn the art of navigation and the importance of intuition. It’s how we outlive time; how we thrive despite obstacle. We are the love child of God and resilience. This post reminds me of the endless pursuit of survival, and the costs of this struggle.

3. How Deep is Our Love The scars of oppression are real. And unfortunately, new wounds are made every day. Self-love evades us as a people, and this post reminds me of my personal responsibility in celebrating self.

4. Art In Our Own Image
I’m still thirsty for real and dignified images of the black female form. I want our beauty honored without ulterior motives. Period.

5. Love Overboard Ah, the bittersweet reminder that parenting is spirit stirring, thankless buzzkill. Trusting your gut and leading with love will never steer you wrong. Traditions be damned.

As I embark on my round 2, I anticipate love, nausea, travel, hang nails, tears, mind blowing sex, finally finding a green leather hobo to compliment my wardrobe…you know a usual year in the life of a single mom.

I thank you for continuing to love on me. Your comments, shout outs, and virtual fist bumps make Betty’s heart skip a beat. Never leave, hear?

BB

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