Lose the List


What up? What a friggin’ life. It’s only Tuesday, and I am OUTDONE. The shit to do and the time in which to do it are grossly misaligned. What’s a Betty to do? What do you do to make the most of each day. I’m finding the older I get, the less I feel compelled to complete everything on the list cuz guess what? That bitch is endless. Real talk, there will always be something you could, should, might, and want to be doing. Why? Cuz no one handles shit like we can. At least that’s the lie we tell ourselves. I might suggest training up some others to share the load. I’m trying desperately to work on this myself. It’s challenging though, right? Somehow, we tell ourselves that no one can rinse the bits off dishes before placing them in the dishwasher like we can, or crank out the report like you, or knock the wrinkles out of that shirt like you, or determine the perfect meat to potato to veggie proportion on the baby’s plate like you. Add to this the pressure to keep your feet soft and polished (big ups to P.T.), achieve a kick ass smokey eye, cling to some remnant of a figure, and you have your self a white hot ride to the middle of Bitter Bitchville. We can’t have that, can we? I’d like to offer a mantra that has stood the test of time for me. Ready? Here it is:

Fuck it.

Now you say it. No really, go ahead. Ok, I’ll say it with you. Uno, Dos, Tres: Fuck it.

Wasn’t that a little fun nugget of naughty liberation? I’m whittling my have to’s down to exclude those things that don’t reek of sexism, domesticity, or are found in any infuriating reflective on “having it all”. Right now, in this moment, here are my have to’s:
1. Shower (I wish more people had this on their list)
2. Love (God, myself, my babies, my city)
3. Write

No, it’s not as poetic as Eat Pray Love, but it’s a list to which I’m actually happy to commit. Your turn. Pick your 3 essentials for happiness. For reals, if your world were devoid of expectations, reality tv, regrets, and fear, what are the 3 things you would have to do every day? Please respond as I’m dying to know what feeds your fire. Because that, my lovelies, is everything.


7 thoughts on “Lose the List

  1. Rena Bird says:

    My 3 would be eat well, dance, create art. Them’s is mine 🙂 I really had to think about this for a few days. It’s hard to clear your head of everything except what is most important to you alone. I’m old and I still have to work at it!

    I love your blog; more please. Sendin’ you love from one Black Girl to another<3


    1. brown betty says:

      RENA!!!! Thank you for your kind words, and for supporting my blog. Eat well…hell yes! There’s nothing like good food to restore the spirit and activate the senses. I had some roast tonight that I swear improved my eye sight! I’ll email you to connect soon. Love you dearly.

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