So I’m starting a weekly check in with ya’ll as I work to process the shit storm that is our day-to day lives. From crazy making and blood boiling to hilarious and absurd, Brown Betty is bringing you some delicious foolishness to chew on for a spell. Ready. Set. Boo yow:
Tablets for Women – Apparently, iPads are way too complicated for women. The complexity of technology just alludes us, and agitates our delicate sensibilities. Never fear, the ePad Femme is here! To accommodate our limited intellectual capacity and our one dimensional interests, this lovely she-gadget comes preloaded with apps geared towards female interests such as cooking, fashion, and yoga. Such a crock of shit. Why don’t they just wrap it in tulle and include a complimentary apron and signed copy of The Rules too? Not sure how these companies keep outdoing themselves with the insulting sexism, but somehow they manage.
Harlem Shake – I’m not trying to let my angry black woman flag fly, but wtf is all the rage about this nonsense? Seriously, explain it to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like to wile out as much as the next hard working sista, but these videos just look like tragic outtakes from a remake of Porky’s. Someone begins frantically humping the air, then the crowd responds by seizing, flailing, and tweaking, many times half naked or in superhero costumes. Now, back in the day the original Harlem Shake was a fresh lil move born out of hip hoppers to make the upbeat joints crack. The move was originally invented by the late Al B., along with his crew the CrazyBoyz in the 80’s. As always, the innovation of young black folks astounds. The community catches on, and you start seeing it in in videos, like here. Check it at 2:10 to see little mama go hard with her Harlem Shake. Mind you, this video dropped in 2001! Another discouraging example of how Black creativity/art is undermined in the name of humor; and tasteless humor at that. Hip hop culture is art. Period. Don’t dis it by making a mockery of it. If you choose to pay homage to the authentic move, give this a few plays, practice, and impress your friends and family with your new found swag. Anything less, is just a damn shame. Kick ass article here by Sara Kugler on this very issue.
The Evil Eye – I’m not referring to the new trend in jewelry, I’m talking about this little dude here. I literally laugh every damn time I see it. How do little little people pick up on our expressions so well? It’s a reminder to watch myself around the youngins. An unsuccessful reminder, but a reminder nonetheless.
Vinum – Food: yum. Drinks: a generous pour like Betty likes. Black owned? Oh hell yes! Support this place, ya’ll. Have your after work drinks, lunches, and quick check in’s here. Ideal location in downtown Tacoma, open mics, intimate soul sessions, chill vibe; what more could you ask for? We can’t complain we don’t have enough minority owned business if we don’t support the ones we have.
Not-so-Happy Birthday – I hate Chuck E. Cheese as much as the next parent. Shitty food, even shittier libations, and a bunch of kids you can’t stand or control. Cooties abound, and before you know it you ain’t got a nickel left to your name. But these dumb asses took it to a whole nuva level. Two dads start arguing and it escalates into an 18 person brawl to include gunfire and a trampled grandma. Oh, did I mention they were BLACK? Yep, we need more bad press. The cold kicker? Empty vodka bottles in the diaper bag. I’m out done. Out. Fucking. Done!
Rubber Pope – Artist, Niki Johnson uses condoms to make a statement on the Church’s position on birth control, and as a response to the comment that the use of condoms in Africa would spread the AIDS epidemic (back in 2009) . Go ‘head, girl. Outrage is such an exceptional muse. Peace.