Mad Enough to Chew Bricks: A Brief Tyler Perry Rant

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No, sir. You will not catch me slipping again. I foolishly decided to give Tyler Perry another chance by watching his newest creation, The Have’s and the Have Not’s. Fresh off of a cable package upgrade, I have been tuning in to shit that I had no idea existed. Well, I clearly need an open handed smack across my luscious lips for giving this bullshit my time. Perhaps, I love to hate Tyler’s fuckery and couldn’t help but tune in. Even more probable though is my unmet need to see our peeps represented with some depth and authenticity.
Spongebob has more character development, ok? As always, Tyler produces another predictable ensemble of black stereotypes, to include the black maid aka Mammie, a bitchy black woman aka Sapphire, and our personal favorite, the conniving black slut aka Jezebel. And what Tyler Perry production would be complete without the down low black male? Done and done.
Booooooooooooo!!!!!!
Tyler, work out your issues with women with a therapist rather than holding us hostage to another journey down Self-Hatred Lane. You have become the most infuriating one trick pony ever because you have the exposure and the connections (thanks alot, Oprah) to spoon feed this shit flavored sorbet to the world. Get with Shonda Rhimes to discover the beautiful chaotic and artistic journey of life taken by black folks everyday (Gladiators, bitch!).
I can vouche for the fact that black women do more than scheme, clean, and fuck our way through life. And I am certain that for every black man on the down low, there’s ten thrilled at the prospect of loving a black woman in all her complicated, intelligent, sensual glory.
A couple slices of black woman truth for you, Tyler:
WE HEAL WAY MORE THAN WE HURT, YOU FUCK NUT.
WE INITIATE AND NAVIGATE OUR SEXUALITY ON OUR OWN TERMS. OH AND WE’RE FUCKING FLY.
WE ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITHOUT SHIT TALKING, FINGER SNAPPING, NECK ROLLING OR BOOTY POPPING.
BLACK MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN, PAST AND PRESENT, UNBORN AND ANCIENT, ARE YOUR BLOOD, MOTHERFUCKER. DO BETTER.
And stop dressing up as a woman. It’s played. Geraldine would be appalled. Master the art of MALE characters, and leave the black female experience to those who are actually living it.
Deep breath.
Betty’s out ya’ll. Grey Goose here I come.

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